confidence isn’t a personality trait. it’s a practice.
Confidence Isn’t Something You’re Born With
Here’s something I’ve had to learn the hard way: confidence doesn’t just magically appear. It’s not something you’re born with or something that suddenly shows up when the stars align and everything feels perfect. It’s something you build, brick by brick, moment by moment.
And this week, I’m building it in real-time by recording a video of myself and posting it on TikTok for the first time ever—something I’ve been terrified to do for way too long.
I’ve come a long way when it comes to confidence. There was a time when I didn’t trust my voice, my decisions, or even my own ideas. I questioned everything. I kept quiet even when I had something to say. I shrank myself to avoid judgment or discomfort. But that started to shift once I got serious about my mindset. Daily journaling, affirmations, routines that grounded me—those tools helped me build a foundation. I started to believe that I didn’t have to wait for permission to take up space. I started to believe that I actually had something to offer. And that belief has carried me a long way.
But I’ll be honest—there’s still one piece I wrestle with, and that’s being seen. Really seen.
Why Showing Up Online Is Still So Hard (Even for Someone Who “Knows” Marketing)
Social media really messes with my head sometimes. And it’s not because I don’t understand it—I’ve been immersed in it for years. I’ve run accounts, built strategies, helped clients grow their platforms and get visible. It’s actually been easy in some ways because I’ve always been behind the scenes—hiding behind the creativity, the strategy, the storytelling—while they put themselves out there.
But when it comes to doing the same for myself? That’s where things get tricky.
It’s not that I’ve flat-out avoided showing up. It’s more like I kept envisioning this version of what I thought showing up was supposed to look like. I’d picture myself doing what everyone else was doing—hopping on trends, following the formulas, cranking out content like a machine. I told myself that’s what success looked like, so that’s what I needed to do. But every time I tried to move in that direction, it felt off. I couldn’t make myself feel good about it, let alone follow through. Because deep down, I knew it wasn’t me. It felt forced.
Fitting Into the Mold… and Why It Didn’t Work
Once I started digging deep into my own brand pillars—the things that actually form the backbone of what I believe and how I want to show up—I realized something. I realized that those are the things that genuinely light me up. They’re what I’m passionate about. And that’s exactly what I want at the center of my content—because those are the things I can talk about naturally, honestly, and actually mean it. And once that clicked for me, it shifted everything.
Because it’s not about posting ten times a day or being on every platform or chasing whatever’s trending this week. I genuinely don’t know how people do that—it’s exhausting. What matters is figuring out how I’m actually willing to put myself out there in a way that doesn’t make me want to crawl out of my skin.
For me, that starts with TikTok. It feels like the safest place to do the hard stuff first, because no one really knows me there. There’s something freeing about that anonymity.
I still want to show up on Instagram, but I’ve decided it’s going to look different. I’m not chasing virality. I want my Instagram to feel like an extension of my brand—a place that’s visually aligned, thoughtful, intentional. If that means a carefully curated grid instead of constant video of my face, I’m okay with that. Because I’d rather build something that feels like me than force something that doesn’t.
Practicing Confidence in Real Time
Putting myself out there—especially on video—still brings up every old insecurity I’ve worked so hard to let go of. Not because I doubt what I do. I know I’m good at it. I’ve helped so many business owners bring their brands to life, grow their presence, and get more aligned with the work they’re meant to do. I’m constantly helping my clients show up and be seen. I coach people through this exact thing. But the truth is, I haven’t been fully practicing what I preach.
Why? Well—the part that still really gets to me, the thing that stirs up all those insecurities, isn’t about whether I’m capable. It’s about being seen. Fully. It’s about letting people in, letting them see the person behind the work. And that still feels really vulnerable.
But if I want to keep growing—if I want to help more people—I have to be willing to do the same thing I ask of my clients.
So this week, I decided to stop overthinking and start doing. I kicked off a 30-day challenge on TikTok—to show up every day, on video, as myself. Not for anyone else. Not to go viral. Not for praise, feedback, or a bunch of followers.
I did it for myself. Because I needed to prove that I could take messy, uncomfortable action just because I decided to. I needed to remind myself that confidence doesn’t show up before you act—it shows up because you act.
Most people wait for confidence like it’s a prerequisite. They think they need to feel completely sure of themselves before they start something new, post something personal, or share something vulnerable. But here’s what I’ve learned: that moment of complete certainty never comes.
Confidence isn’t the green light—it’s what you gain by stepping into the unknown. It’s the thing that gets stronger each time you do the thing that scares you.
The Mindset Shift That Made It Possible
For me, the shift started with mindset. I didn’t go from anxious and insecure to confident overnight. I had to work at it. I had to start my mornings differently—writing out affirmations, journaling the thoughts that were weighing me down, and actively choosing to rewrite the stories I was telling myself.
Things like:
– “I’m not confident enough” became “I’m learning to trust myself.”
– “I can’t handle this” became “I’ve handled worse.”
And the affirmations I come back to again and again are simple, but powerful:
– I am safe to be seen.
– I do brave things.
– I trust myself.
When I say those things out loud, especially before doing something that feels scary, it shifts something in me. It doesn’t erase the fear, but it reminds me that I’m capable of moving through it.
That’s how you rewire your confidence—by repeating the things you want to believe about yourself until they start to stick. Over time, those thoughts become your truth. And that’s the magic. But it starts with facing your fears head-on.
And believe me, I didn’t think that was possible—not for me. But it is. Because I did. And I’m here.
What Practicing Confidence Really Looks Like
At some point, I just had to decide. I had to stop waiting for the fear to disappear. I had to stop convincing myself I wasn’t ready. I had to rip off the bandaid and do the thing I was avoiding.
And even though I was nervous as hell to post the first video for this challenge, I did it anyway. And you know what? I already feel different. It’s like, once the thing is done, you realize it wasn’t nearly as scary as you made it out to be.
In fact, it kind of feels good. Maybe even fun.
Practicing confidence doesn’t mean waking up every day feeling like a boss. It means doing the uncomfortable thing anyway. It means affirming yourself before you act. It means keeping small promises to yourself—even if no one else is watching. It means showing up for your goals without waiting for someone to give you permission.
Confidence isn’t about being loud, or fearless, or perfect. Confidence is about showing up when it would be easier to stay quiet. It’s trusting your voice, even when it’s shaking. It’s saying the thing, sharing the work, starting the conversation—not because you know how it will be received, but because it matters to you.
Sometimes it’s deciding that your words are worth saying, even if they don’t land with everyone. And sometimes it’s remembering that someone out there might need to hear what you have to say—even if they never say a word back.
That’s what practicing confidence really looks like—choosing to show up and speak, even when it would be easier to stay silent.
A Reminder (for Me and Maybe for You Too)
So that’s what I’m doing this week. I’m putting myself out there—on video—afraid and not sure where it’s going to land. And I’m not doing it for the algorithm or the feedback or the applause. I’m doing it because I’m tired of hiding. I’m doing it because I believe in the work I do and the people I want to help. And I’m doing it because I want to prove to myself that I can.
If you’re in that space—where you want to start but keep telling yourself you’ll do it when… when you feel ready, when you lose the fear, when the timing is perfect—maybe just don’t wait.
Start with something small. Practice showing up scared.
That’s what I’m doing. And I promise, you’re not the only one whose hands are shaking a little.
Do it with the shaking hands. Because it matters.
And so do you.